Do you give yourself enough credit for all that you do as a mum? I think many of us deserve to give ourselves much more credit. One of the biggest things that I have done recently in my own personal development is to give myself more credit, especially in my role as mum.
Do you rely on your partner or the kids to let you know you’re doing a good a job? I did until recently and sometimes when they didn’t, I would be disappointed. I would think, “They don’t appreciate me. Do they know how hard I have worked today to prepare this meal” or “Do they even care I haven’t stopped for a second to get off the treadmill and take a break?” I began to feel resentful would often express this to them in my language and actions.
My hubby would give me credit. He would come home from work and tell me I’m doing the most important job in the world, raising our two boys. I would feel great for a few hours then I’d soon forget his words and the resentment would seep back in; that is until the next credit came along.
Then I discovered the power of giving MYSELF credit. The secret principle is that the more we give ourselves, the less we require from others. The more credit we give ourselves, the less credit we require from others. “Require” is the important word here. When we require something from others our feelings are at the mercy of what they say and do. Since what others say and do is not in our direct control we can choose to not be at their mercy and instead, empower ourselves to choose what we feel. So this is what I’ve been practicing.
I started with a daily practice and then a weekly one of writing down all the big and small things I do as a mum. It did not come naturally at first but it gradually became easier. I began to acknowledge and celebrate what I was doing. Now, I’m not talking a big party with champers and fine foods every day! I mean putting my feet up for five minutes to read the paper, having a relaxing bath in the middle of the day, or putting on my favourite song and having a dance.
As I acknowledge and celebrate myself more and more, my internal dialogue has changed. I say to myself, “Well done for all you have done today. You deserve to take a break.” or “I appreciate you and all that you do.” I now feel joy and appreciation for myself and towards my hubby and kids.
When my hubby gives me credit now, I love and appreciate his comments but I no longer require them. What I feel now about mumhood is more consistent and more importantly, in my control.
My mother’s day message to you is to give yourself lots and lots of credit. It’s never too late to start!!! Go ahead and start right now…
The sleepless nights, school run, after school activities, cooking and cleaning often gets a mention. What else can you give yourself credit for?
Here are some examples….
- The cuddles and kisses you give for expressing your love.
- The runny noses you wipe.
- The number of times you say “No” to keep them from potential danger.
- The cuddles you give for little bumps, cuts and grazes.
- The tired tears you wipe away.
- Encouraging them to brush their teeth.
- The carefully thought out lunches you pack with meat, fruit and vegetables for balanced nutrition.
- The drink bottles you buy so they can open them easily.
- The birthday and Christmas presents you buy so thoughtfully.
- The play dates, trips to the park and trips to the beach that you organise.
- Working to put food on the table.
- Reading bedtime stories, reassuring them that there are no monsters under the bed
- and so much more…
What can you add to this that you do and can give yourself credit for? Start now by sharing below and let’s see how much we can acknowledge together.
Happy Mother’s Day!! Love to all you mums out there and here’s to the awesome job that you do each and everyday!