Teaching Kids About Love

Teaching Kids About Love

  Do you ever think about how to create little Valentines out of your children? What is it that will allow them to create a thriving loving relationship that enables them to go the very depths of their being and be vulnerable enough to share that with another person? After being divorced and remarried, there was one thing that I wanted more than anything else – I wanted my children to be born into a happy marriage. A marriage where parents could communicate, problems were dealt with, love was displayed openly and comfortably and there was chemistry between the parents!  I feel so grateful to have these things with my husband today. When my husband and I first got married, I didn’t fully comprehend how much our behaviour and actions would influence our children. I understand that now and over time I also realised that it was my relationship-based decisions that enabled my current relationships to be happy and more importantly, set my children up to experience similar happy relationships. My work as a coach has allowed me to connect with many mums so they too have a better understanding when it comes to the degree of influence a parent’s behaviour can have on their children.  I have coached countless mums who have changed their own behaviour and gone on to influence their husband or partner to adjust their behavior, which has had a remarkable effect on the children. As an example, Kate* and her husband would continuously argue about discipline until they got so frustrated with each other, one of them would walk away and the conflict would not...
Sex Post Kids

Sex Post Kids

As I write this I am on a short flight between Sydney and Melbourne, sitting on a row of three seats in between two males I don’t know. I’ve been having second thoughts whether to write an article about sexual intimacy right now or perhaps write it a bit later when I’m not in such close company… So what am I so afraid of? I guess my fears are around a fear of judgement and a fear of vulnerability that comes with talking openly about sex. You’ll know if I have confronted these fears and tackled them head on if I get to the end of this article and you are reading it! My husband and I have been married for ten years. We have an amazing marriage and a good sex life.  By “good” I mean it’s great when we do have sex but it’s nowhere near frequent enough! Our energy levels and “alone” time away from our kids are the two biggest factors we have to juggle. In the time we’ve been together, we have never really researched much around sex. It has been something that I have been interested in doing but for no specific reason we haven’t been down this road until now.. On Tuesday a friend of mine visited me and told me of a lady she had met at a yoga retreat in Byron Bay. This lady, Margot Anand, specialized in Tantra and my friend told me I had to go and see her. It just so happened that she was on tour in Sydney the next night. I asked my husband if...

How do you handle it when your partner “sneaks” off….

Do you have times, perhaps on the weekends, where you are looking after the kids and your partner is nowhere to be found? Sunday morning this happened to me. I offered my husband a lie in on Sunday morning and I woke up with the kids. I made some pancakes and left plenty for hubby when he woke. He had a great sleep until one of the kids woke him up at around 10am. He had breakfast and I prepared a play activity for the kids outside. Then hubby was nowhere to be found (OK he was in a quiet corner with an iPad). He finally surfaced at midday ready to play with the kids. So what went through my mind? When the youngest came to me for the 5th time whilst I was trying to finish some work, I began to feel annoyed. I was thinking, hang on, hubby got a lie in, I made him breakfast, the least he could he could was entertain the kids for a bit! I don’t like feeling annoyed and I like to respond with choice rather than fly off the handle, so I can began to think from different perspectives. The first perspective was my perspective, described above, which left me feeling annoyed. The second perspective was Hubby’s perspective. Perhaps he needed some “him time.”  Perhaps he hadn’t even considered that I may like him to do something different than what he was. Perhaps, he got lost in time as he can do sometimes. This perspective left me feeling less annoyed and more understanding. The third perspective was a fly on the wall...