The No.1 Skill to Parent as a Leader

The No.1 Skill to Parent as a Leader

Whilst some see leadership as a role that heads up an organisation or a department, we as parents equally head up a family and a home – the main difference being we don’t get to leave our leadership role at home at the end of each day, like we can if it were our job outside of the home. There are various styles of leadership, each with different outcomes. The 19th century autocratic style of leadership was one of command and control, dominant in the industrial age to encourage employees to conform and mass produce.  The 20th century authoritarian style of leadership was about creating positive relationships whilst enforcing the rules and was the norm in the information age. As society has evolved so too has parenting and we are now at a major tipping point in parenting styles.   Today, in the 21st century, the age of disruption, the new model of parenting is a leadership parenting style and just like great leadership in organisations is about authenticity, it’s true at home, even more so.   So what then is authenticity and why is it so important in leading children? Authenticity is “representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified.”  It is when we are authentic, we are at our most creative.  In a report by the Foundation for Young Australians, research indicates that between 2012 and 2015 the demand for creativity in job advertisements increased by 65%. The no. 1 skill to develop authenticity is self awareness. If you find yourself at logger heads with your child, chances are there is something you can...
Parenting as a Leader

Parenting as a Leader

It’s odd to think about parenting as a leadership role and yet anthropologically speaking they are the same.   A leader is… Someone who has followers Has the capacity to translate vision into reality Empowers others And is influentional   A parent is… Someone who has followers (children) Has the capacity to translate vision (of family) into reality Empowers their child Influences their child   If you were a leader in corporate for a moment and not a parent, you would have access to leadership assessments, benchmarks for best practice, leadership development and you would know your leadership style. And yet when it comes to parenting, we find ourselves winging it, eventually settling for a rhythm that works, often over what is best. With good reason..working parents are overwhelmed, inundated from every possible angle and somehow trying to make it all work. With many households commonly needing both parents to be working to cover the costs of a home and raising a family, they find themselves out of the home for long periods of time. If not managed this results in work getting the best of you and family getting what’s left. With working and parenting appearing as they are at odds, we can look to leadership for answers. The best leaders have learnt how to manage the overwhelm of demands placed on them whilst still connecting, empowering and influencing their followers. So what can as working parents learn from great leaders? What I’ve experienced in my own parenting and what we’ve found with our clients is, it’s about developing authenticity.   Parent as Leader Scale      ...
You are not failing

You are not failing

Do you feel that if you can’t make work and family work that you are not trying hard enough or somehow you are not good enough? You are not failing. I believe you’ve been set up to fail. The question I get asked the most by working parents is how can we do it all and do it well? Firstly, let’s define ALL – happy well rounded kids, loving connected relationship with hot dates (sometimes!), successful career, creating an impact, healthy body, 8 hours of sleep, good nutrition and regular exercise, building wealth, adventure, lifestyle, regular catch ups with friends, holidays, daily mindfulness practice, walks in nature, time with extended family and cousins and [insert your meaning here].   With housing priced as high as it is, it is quite likely that both parents need to work to pay for home and children and often spend long periods of time away from the home.  Flexibility, most often means working from home a day or 2 a week or going in early to come home early. Flexibility doesn’t accommodate reduced hours – it usually means work after kids have gone to bed and often being available out of hours and around the clock. So if work commands most of the time and we spend the little time left with family, what is happening to our lives? The impact we are seeing is an increase in stressed out and anxious parents and a rising number of mental health issues in our children. The latest statistics by Resilience Youth Australia, surveying 240,000 students age 8 to 18 reveals, that 40% or almost 1 in 2...
We use fitness coaches, business coaches and now parenting coaching is on the rise.

We use fitness coaches, business coaches and now parenting coaching is on the rise.

Hoogi Features in Mamma Mia. Written by Shauna Anderson. Click here to view original article   Melina was at her breaking point. With three kids and a full time job she was stretched and struggling. The kids didn’t behave. The house was chaos. She was always running late, she felt, as she puts it, like she was “spiralling out of control.” “I just wanted a day to run smoothly, as planned without everything f**king up.” She says she doesn’t like to ask for help, she has her ways and her beliefs and feels imposed upon when relatives or friends break what she sees as the parenting rules she has put in place. “When my husband looks after the kids he just lets them sit in front of their screens and forgets the structures I have, things just fall apart.”   So just like when she needed help with her diet and exercise Melina sought out the help of a fitness coach this time she is turning to a coach as well – a parenting coach. In this age of modern parenting where we second-guess everything we do the rise of parenting coaches isn’t surprising. “I used a business coach for our business why wouldn’t I use a parent coach?” Experts have noted a fundamental shift in the way parents parent over the last half a century. While we are busier than ever, we are more focused on our children than ever. Researchers say this child-centred parenting, with an overwhelming need to prioritize their children’s health and happiness is leading to a generation of anxious parents unsure of what to do....
To screen time or not to screen time? Mandie Spooner explains a Digital Detox

To screen time or not to screen time? Mandie Spooner explains a Digital Detox

Parenting in the digital world – with so many conflicting thoughts, feelings and emotions when it comes to families and technology, it can be hard to keep up.   I know I’m guilty of being on my phone a lot and often feel that pang of guilt when I know I really should put my phone down. There are times when my kids “catch” me scrolling on my phone, when I’m not entirely present for them and I know I am distracted. The thing is, screen time and devices can be really addictive and incredibly distracting, but can often bring a welcome escape from a busy day.   What I’m realising however, is that this distraction comes with a cost. My kids listen to me less, they feel more justified to use limitless technology themselves, and we engage with each other a lot less.   I don’t believe omitting technology altogether is the answer – it is a significant part of our present and future, and being online is important for many for work and lifesaving for others, who may not otherwise have access to information that can help them. I do think though that the answer may be to create boundaries around each person’s usage. Maybe what we need to do is have some balance around technology – embrace it, but manage it? Maybe that’s the answer?   In a quest to decide, I recently had a particularly insightful chat with Mandie Spooner from “Digital Detox – Be a Present Parent.” Mandie’s vision is to be able to support others to find the balance and discusses why this...
Parenting jobs are never ending, however feeling overwhelmed can be helped. Watch this video:

Parenting jobs are never ending, however feeling overwhelmed can be helped. Watch this video:

Becoming overwhelmed with the amount of tasks on your list is probably every busy parents battle and probably a daily one at that. Demands from school, friends, family, business, hobbies not to mention health and financial concerns, all add up to put pressure on us. But it’s ok, as this is perfectly normal and becoming overwhelmed is also ok. So take a deep breath and listen to my strategy for coping with overwhelm. The thing we love the most is hearing from our fabulous community. Some of the greatest insights come directly from you. Leave a comment...
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