Your Physical Ailments Are Linked to Your Emotional Wellbeing

For years I have known that our emotional wellbeing affects our physical wellbeing. There has been so much evidence throughout my life and in my family, yet still what I experienced first hand in the last few weeks has blown me away! I’m not saying that there is an emotional component in each and every physical symptom but often there is. For example, my uncle married someone whose opinion of his family overrode his own to the point where he stopped seeing his own parents and siblings. He tried to speak up to his wife but eventually he gave up.  Soon after, he developed mouth cancer and a section of his tongue had to be removed.  His ability to speak has been physically impaired. Sometimes our bodies can be manifestations of our emotional self. Recently I won the opportunity to work alongside one of the leaders in the field of coaching. I was honoured to be picked from hundreds of applicants. My husband and I spoke at great length. We agreed that we could make the weekly commitment and the 10 working weekends a year fit with our family. We would still be able to support the kids in the way we wanted to. So I accepted the job. I fell incredibly sick two days before I started my job and for one of those days I was bed ridden. Fortunately I utilised my resources of GPs, homeopaths, naturopaths and ancient Indian remedies and made a quick recovery by the second day of my new job. Then just two weeks into the job, I fell sick again, this time...

Dealing with your worst moments as a parent

Have you had a moment when your whole world falls apart and you question whether you should be allowed to be a parent? A friend of mine knocked on my door this morning distraught and in tears. She had gone into work and had a niggling feeling she had forgotten something. Then as manager, she was told someone had left a baby in their car. She was astounded that this had happened and wondered how someone could do such a thing. She went down to the car park and as she neared the car she realised…it was her car. She had left her baby in the car and it had been 20 minutes. Fortunately, the baby was safe and well. Now, we could be quick to judge here. “How could she leave her baby in the car and forget?” “What kind of mother is she…?” In fact, as she sat with me she kept saying, “I can’t believe I did this” “What kind of mother does this?” “How could I do this?” “I love my baby girl more than anything…” The reality is she is a wonderful mother. In fact, she is one of the most wonderful mothers I know. Here’s what happened in the nine days prior: On Wednesday, Thursday and Friday her baby was sick. Despite numerous trips to the doctor, she still could not find out what was wrong. Baby screamed day and night. On Saturday and Sunday the screaming continued so this wonderful mother decided she would go to a different doctor. Although her baby improved a little, she was still worried and stayed close...

You can improve your relationship with your child

I went to kiss my little champ goodnight tonight. My hubby was reading to him when I went in and the most amazing and bizarre thing happened. My little man said, “I want mummy to read me a story. I love her the best.” Now whilst I don’t encourage favourites and loving people “the best,”  this was a marked moment in history for me as a mum. Firstly my little man LOVES spending time with daddy.  He has very little time with him during the week and so they both cherish every moment when they are home together. Secondly, I realised just how far I have come as a mum… About 3 years ago, I had what I call an emotional breakdown.  We immigrated back to Australia from overseas and moved straight into our home. 10 days after we arrived our house was burgled and my mum-in-law, who was in the house looking after my then 2 year old, was brutally attacked.  Fortunately, she made a near full recovery. The house was in less than optimal condition and coupled with the blood and forensic dust, we made a quick decision to move out temporarily. This prompted a series of unplanned moves.  For various reasons we ended up moving 5 times in 18 months for us, and my mum in law was with us for 2 of those moves. The last move was the move that broke the camel’s back for me and found I was unable to cope.  Thankfully counselling helped me to make a full recovery. Needless to say, it was stressful time for all of us and...

Celebrating Your Body as a Mum

This morning was an interesting morning. I dropped the boys off to pre-school and school and came home. In my mind I had a list of things that I wanted to do today but my focus shifted to a conversation with my personal trainer that morning. It’s been about 4 months since I commenced personal training following losing my mobility in both my pregnancies from severe Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. That’s a whole other story! I made a decision just before Christmas 2012 to be healthier with food and exercise. I am now a size 14 and have a couple of dress sizes to go for my best body.  Anyway getting back to this conversation… My trainer reminded me about celebrating my achievements with exercise. I know that celebrating achievements is really important and I do this well as a mum but hadn’t realised how little I was doing it in the context of my health. I decided I would allow myself to read for an hour as a reward for the training session I had this morning. Something made me pick up a book I was gifted for my birthday almost three months ago – Michelle Bridge’s “Your Best Body.”  Little did I know of what would occur in the next hour… I devoured the introduction and the chapter on “best mind.”  I got to the part where she said, “Acceptance is the conduit for change…it is the first step in moving forward” and I burst into tears.  Acceptance is a key area on which I coach mums and I understand how critical it is to achieve success in any...

A Special Mother’s Day Message For You

This is a special mother’s day article for all the mums out there.  This article is in celebration of each of you and for all that you do.  And that’s A LOT!!! Do you give yourself enough credit for all that you do as a mum? I think many of us deserve to give ourselves much more credit. One of the biggest things that I have done recently in my own personal development is to give myself more credit, especially in my role as mum. Do you rely on your partner or the kids to let you know you’re doing a good a job? I did until recently and sometimes when they didn’t, I would be disappointed. I would think, “They don’t appreciate me.  Do they know how hard I have worked today to prepare this meal” or “Do they even care I haven’t stopped for a second to get off the treadmill and take a break?” I began to feel resentful would often express this to them in my language and actions. My hubby would give me credit.  He would come home from work and tell me I’m doing the most important job in the world, raising our two boys.  I would feel great for a few hours then I’d soon forget his words and the resentment would seep back in; that is until the next credit came along. Then I discovered the power of giving MYSELF credit. The secret principle is that the more we give ourselves, the less we require from others. The more credit we give ourselves, the less credit we require from others. “Require”...

Spending the night in hospital with your child

Today has been one of those not so fun times… We started the day with such joy as we helped celebrate my eldest son’s birthday.  He and his friends had a ball at the party and I celebrated how lucky we are to be surrounded by so many lovely parents and children. Then the day moved on.  The second half of the day was not joyful.  Here’s what happened.. We got home from the party and my younger son, who had a little cough, suddenly began to breathe more and more irregularly. We were about to drive him to the hospital, when he began to struggle for breath even more.  We made a quick decision to call an ambulance. He was in moderate respiratory distress. Many thoughts went through my mind.  “Surely it’s not that bad.” Next, I thought ‘OMG, what if he stops breathing!’ Then I realised that to be in my best state of mind for my little one, I needed to accept what was happening and deal with it. I don’t like it, I don’t want it, but it is what it is.  I kept saying this to myself for the 6 hours we were in Resuscitation A & E. Fortunately, the doctors managed to stablilise his breathing with meds and oxygen. Meanwhile my little man was a trooper and barely complained the whole time. When his breathing stabilized and the lethargy lifted, he began to entertain the staff with questions. I knew he was on the mend. We were then admitted to a ward.  All was going well and my little trooper was fast asleep....

Balancing your work with kids

One thing that is really important to me is being the mum I want to be while coaching other mums to be the mum they want to be. I have always been career orientated.  I see myself as a “make-it-happen-kinda-girl”.  I have an idea and if it’s realistic, I will put it into action. Being this “make-it-happen-kinda-girl” I meet with some challenges when I add two beautiful kids (one school age, one pre-school), an awesome marriage, running a successful business and running an efficient home into the mix; however, somehow I am making it work! So here’s what I am thinking and doing in order to make things work : 1)   “Challenge it is, impossible it is not!” – Thinking this way allows me to see any challenges for what they are and not give up at the first hurdle.  This particularly helped me when one of the kids was really sick on the day I had booked to see a client.  It also helped after I had booked myself onto a course for 10 days and then found out my childcare arrangements wouldn’t work.  What a week! Thinking this way allows me to accept what’s happened and encourages me to find solutions. 2)   “Slow and steady wins the race” – Let me tell you, for a “make-it-happen-kinda-girl” this is a tough one to get my head around! This one is really important to me because if I want to connect with my hubby, exercise, spend time with my kids or prepare home cooked healthy meals, I need to carve out time for that during my week. I would...

Pre-Schooler Playground Battles to Joys

Have you ever had a situation in a public playground where your child is trying to play on something and there’s not much sharing going on? Do you know how to handle it? I took my three year old to a nearby playground. He was so excited because he loves playing on the wooden pirate boat. As soon as I opened the gate he ran over to the boat and found two girls standing at the helm and their mums chatting at the entrance. I saw my little 95cm boy go up to the mums and he asked, “Can I have a turn next on the boat?” I saw the mums smile and nod their heads. He was smiling and walked off to play on other equipment. Ten minutes later he went back and asked a second time. This time the mums looked at him, looked at each other and then continued their conversation. I had been watching my brave little 95cm boy asking a question of two adult women twice his height, and feeling a sense of pride that he had plucked up the courage to do so. Now he came over to me in tears and said, “They won’t let me have a turn on the boat.” My instinct was to say “They will sweetheart.”  It was in this moment that I realised the message I was sending to him was that it was ok not to share and that, if faced with a challenge, you just sit and hope it will pass. The biggest realisation was that he was coming to me to ask for help...

How To Enjoy Flying with Kids

As I write this I am on a London – Sydney flight with a flight time of 22 hours. This is our family’s sixth long haul flight in five weeks. It has been busy! And fun! Whilst standing with my three year old, a fellow passenger remarked “It is a LONG flight…” Indeed he was right; however it occurred to me that I don’t actually say that to myself. Instead I say “It is what is.” I began thinking about what else I think, feel, say and do to allow me to enjoy these journeys and have fun in the sky… When I woke up in London in the morning I had slept very little, had a migraine and my period.  It was not an ideal start on the morning of a flight with two children, one preschooler and one school age.  Acceptance was the key here so I accepted that “it was what it was” and off we went. Preparation the day before: When preparing for a flight I remind myself that it is my choice to go, and that it always involves packing and organising. This allows me to accept that the preparation is not pushed onto me.  I know I made a choice and that makes me feel empowered and less resentful about everything we need to do. Organising hand luggage: For long haul flights we use three bags. My husband and I have back packs that we wear and place under the seat in front of us on the plane.  We have a wheelie bag for the kids to take turns with and which goes...

How do you handle it when your partner “sneaks” off….

Do you have times, perhaps on the weekends, where you are looking after the kids and your partner is nowhere to be found? Sunday morning this happened to me. I offered my husband a lie in on Sunday morning and I woke up with the kids. I made some pancakes and left plenty for hubby when he woke. He had a great sleep until one of the kids woke him up at around 10am. He had breakfast and I prepared a play activity for the kids outside. Then hubby was nowhere to be found (OK he was in a quiet corner with an iPad). He finally surfaced at midday ready to play with the kids. So what went through my mind? When the youngest came to me for the 5th time whilst I was trying to finish some work, I began to feel annoyed. I was thinking, hang on, hubby got a lie in, I made him breakfast, the least he could he could was entertain the kids for a bit! I don’t like feeling annoyed and I like to respond with choice rather than fly off the handle, so I can began to think from different perspectives. The first perspective was my perspective, described above, which left me feeling annoyed. The second perspective was Hubby’s perspective. Perhaps he needed some “him time.”  Perhaps he hadn’t even considered that I may like him to do something different than what he was. Perhaps, he got lost in time as he can do sometimes. This perspective left me feeling less annoyed and more understanding. The third perspective was a fly on the wall...