by Dina Cooper | Oct 4, 2018 | Lead your child, Lead your family, Lead yourself
Whilst some see leadership as a role that heads up an organisation or a department, we as parents equally head up a family and a home – the main difference being we don’t get to leave our leadership role at home at the end of each day, like we can if it were our job outside of the home. There are various styles of leadership, each with different outcomes. The 19th century autocratic style of leadership was one of command and control, dominant in the industrial age to encourage employees to conform and mass produce. The 20th century authoritarian style of leadership was about creating positive relationships whilst enforcing the rules and was the norm in the information age. As society has evolved so too has parenting and we are now at a major tipping point in parenting styles. Today, in the 21st century, the age of disruption, the new model of parenting is a leadership parenting style and just like great leadership in organisations is about authenticity, it’s true at home, even more so. So what then is authenticity and why is it so important in leading children? Authenticity is “representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified.” It is when we are authentic, we are at our most creative. In a report by the Foundation for Young Australians, research indicates that between 2012 and 2015 the demand for creativity in job advertisements increased by 65%. The no. 1 skill to develop authenticity is self awareness. If you find yourself at logger heads with your child, chances are there is something you can...
by Dina Cooper | Sep 27, 2018 | Lead your family
It’s odd to think about parenting as a leadership role and yet anthropologically speaking they are the same. A leader is… Someone who has followers Has the capacity to translate vision into reality Empowers others And is influentional A parent is… Someone who has followers (children) Has the capacity to translate vision (of family) into reality Empowers their child Influences their child If you were a leader in corporate for a moment and not a parent, you would have access to leadership assessments, benchmarks for best practice, leadership development and you would know your leadership style. And yet when it comes to parenting, we find ourselves winging it, eventually settling for a rhythm that works, often over what is best. With good reason..working parents are overwhelmed, inundated from every possible angle and somehow trying to make it all work. With many households commonly needing both parents to be working to cover the costs of a home and raising a family, they find themselves out of the home for long periods of time. If not managed this results in work getting the best of you and family getting what’s left. With working and parenting appearing as they are at odds, we can look to leadership for answers. The best leaders have learnt how to manage the overwhelm of demands placed on them whilst still connecting, empowering and influencing their followers. So what can as working parents learn from great leaders? What I’ve experienced in my own parenting and what we’ve found with our clients is, it’s about developing authenticity. Parent as Leader Scale ...
by Dina Cooper | Sep 20, 2018 | Lead your family
Do you feel that if you can’t make work and family work that you are not trying hard enough or somehow you are not good enough? You are not failing. I believe you’ve been set up to fail. The question I get asked the most by working parents is how can we do it all and do it well? Firstly, let’s define ALL – happy well rounded kids, loving connected relationship with hot dates (sometimes!), successful career, creating an impact, healthy body, 8 hours of sleep, good nutrition and regular exercise, building wealth, adventure, lifestyle, regular catch ups with friends, holidays, daily mindfulness practice, walks in nature, time with extended family and cousins and [insert your meaning here]. With housing priced as high as it is, it is quite likely that both parents need to work to pay for home and children and often spend long periods of time away from the home. Flexibility, most often means working from home a day or 2 a week or going in early to come home early. Flexibility doesn’t accommodate reduced hours – it usually means work after kids have gone to bed and often being available out of hours and around the clock. So if work commands most of the time and we spend the little time left with family, what is happening to our lives? The impact we are seeing is an increase in stressed out and anxious parents and a rising number of mental health issues in our children. The latest statistics by Resilience Youth Australia, surveying 240,000 students age 8 to 18 reveals, that 40% or almost 1 in 2...
by Dina Cooper | Sep 6, 2018 | Lead yourself
Even if you are a fairly level-headed person, it’s common to experience an increase in the number of fears you have after having children. Someone once said to me, having a child is like having your heart run outside of you on legs – it’s a mixture of intense moments of joy and intense moments of vulnerability. However, when fears are unchecked they can drain your mental energy. Here’s three common fears in parenting that have the potential to zap your energy and a suggestion on how you can shift your perspective to free you up: 1. They won’t be happy, they won’t be healthy, they won’t be successful I had breakfast with a good friend yesterday. We hadn’t seen each other for a while, so it was a chance to catch up on our lives, including kids. She said, “I don’t know if she’s going to be happy” referring to her teenage daughter and she said, “I know I’m doing all I can to help her, I can’t do more than that.” I thought this was a profound statement. How often do we assume we are responsible for our child’s happiness, our child’s health and our child’s success and how much of our energy do we spend thinking about this? Of course we have a significant part to play in each of these and when you know you’ve done as much as you can, are you able to make peace with the fact that you simply just don’t have control of what your child’s future holds or even what the next moment holds? It can be a...
by Dina Cooper | Aug 29, 2018 | Lead yourself
Parenting can be a competitive arena. Whether it’s the type of activity a child is doing or where you are going for your winter break, some comparisons are overt and others are more subtle. Either way, they can leave you feeling unfulfilled and feeling like you are never doing enough. Here’s 6 reasons why comparisons suck: 1. Wanting to be the best, isn’t always the best for you How many people do you know that want to be the best at everything? Even if it costs them their health or relationships. Wanting to be better than everyone else, with no consideration for the costs involved is born out of a need to prove yourself. Children (and adults) fare much better and mentally healthier in the long term, when doing things out of choice with no need to prove anything. 2. They can be limiting What if the person beside you has reached their peak and your capability goes way beyond this? If you are running your own race and exceeding your personal best each time, you build the capacity for limitless potential in you and your child. Don’t limit yourself or your child. 3. Stop you from playing your own game A painter may not have balls skills. A mathematician may not be a natural dancer. A debater may not lean into empathy. Knowing what you are good at and more importantly what makes you feel energised will be the path of most fulfilment and least resistance. Living someone else’s path is destined for misery. Watching and validating your child when they are drawn to...
